IMAGE CREDIT: @nerd__seed

ENTER STAGE LEFT. Coming out of the woodwork, PRIVODEET. Silence is Complicity.

SOLILOQUY. I’m not the only voice you should be listening to – let’s make that 100% clear. I’m not an expert who undertook years of scholarly work on race relations, racism, privilege and oppression.  I’m still emerging from my own internalized colonial mindset, still learning from those that laid the groundwork and still finding my voice and position in all this.

But, people have reached out to me for resources to help them learn more, quickly get to the heart of the matter, understand the demands for change, how to navigate as an enlightened global citizen and just how to exist when it feels like the world is burning.

If sharing the tools that helped me on my journey helps you, then let me be your gateway drug. I’m not the heroin (sic) in this analogy, but I can get you pretty damn close if you’re keen and committed.

2020 IS OFFICIALLY ON A PIP. The mid-year performance review for 2020 is “does not meet expectations” with the last two weeks emanating a dark energy of pain, confusion and despair.  We can take a moment to acknowledge all the emotions – it’s overwhelming and uncomfortable.  However, what is being asked of us is to continue the momentum, build upon it and effect change.

DO THE WORK. You’ll hear this over and over again. The burden to understand cannot and should not fall on the shoulders of BIPOC  – this affects all of us and no one should undertake the labour (practical and emotional) for your own anti-racist enlightenment.

Think about how you learn something new – you develop a curiosity, you might google, you might buy a book, you might chat with people about said book and you might find a podcast or a film or youtube channel or reddit thread to help you learn more.  You don’t ask for knowledge on a silver platter.

This is no different. Do not outsource your graduating thesis.

START. Giddy up – let’s go.

For an overarching view of the syllabus, please refer to bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES by Sarah Sophie Flicker, Alyssa Klein, May 2020. This is a robust document that contains many different entry points into the discussion.

It looks daunting, I know. I encourage you to adopt a mindset of exploration and curiosity. Pretend you are on a train, pick a random destination and explore.

Other Links:
BLM RESOURCES
www.ally.wiki
Black Lives Matter – Canada
Black Lives Matter – USA

Another way in is to ask yourself – how do you like to learn? Below is a not-so exhaustive list of different media to consume – pick your poison and drink it all up.

BOOKS/AUTHORS
White Fragility – Robin DiAngelo
Between The World And Me & We Were Eight Years In Power – Ta-Nehisi Coates
The New Jim Crow – Michelle Alexander
Sister Outsider – Audre Lorde
Becoming – Michelle Obama
The Warmth of Other Suns – Isabel Wilkerson
The Privileged Poor – Anthony Abraham Jack
Bad Feminist – Roxane Gay
Seven Fallen Feathers – Tanya Talaga
The History of White People – Nell Irvin Painter
The Black History of The White House – Clarence Lusane

BOOKS TURNED INTO FILMS
The Hate U Give – Angie Thomas
Twelve Years A Slave – Solomon Northup
Roots – Alex Haley
The Color Purple – Alice Walker
Beloved – Toni Morrison
The Help – Kathryn Stockett
Push – Sapphire (film is Precious)
Black Klansman – Ron Stallworth ( film is BlacKkKlansman by Spike Lee)
Black Panther – Marvel Comics

FILMS
13^th, Selma, When They See Us – Ava DuVernay
Do The Right Thing, Jungle Fever – Spike Lee
Get Out, Us – Jordan Peele
Moonlight – Barry Jenkins

TV
Black’ish, Mixed’ish, Grown’ish, #BlackAF – Kenya Barris
Insecure – Issa Rae
Dear White People – Justin Simien (also, a film)

PODCAST
1619 – The New York Times
Asian Enough – The LA Times
Code Switch – NPR

MUSIC
Strange Fruit – Billie Holiday
Fight the Power – Public Enemy
Humble. – Kendrick Lamar
This is America – Childish Gambino
Killing in the Name  – Rage Against The Machine
Fuck Tha Police – N.W.A.
What’s Goin’ On – Marvin Gaye
A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
Apeshit – The Carters
Formation – Beyoncé

TAKE ACTION.

• Follow Black Voices
• Listen To Black Voices
• Amplify Black Voices
• Petition For Change
• Donate To Organizations*
• Learn Anti-Racism
• Practice Anti-Racism

*I hesitate to give direct guidance on where your money should flow. That is a personal decision based on your own value system. Some may want long-term efforts support (consider a reputable organization that is doing great work), some may want immediate impact (Venmo to someone in need). Do what makes sense to you.

TODAY’S WRITING PROMPT from Ava Duvernay  
Think about how you can work to dismantle the generations-old systems that encourage and protect police misconduct and murder.

Dear Readers,

It’s been a minute. I overbook. I procrastinate. It’s also the summer. I wanted to share my recent experience at [Brand Name Store + location]. I had sent this off to their customer service team, but have sanitized for anonymity and edited for length.
—

On Sunday, 21 July 2019, I went into the sunglasses department with the intention of replacing a pair of sunglasses I had lost the previous evening.

I encountered a very condescending and arguably racist salesperson in that department. For context, I am an [Asian-country-born, Western-city-raised] woman.

She asked if she could help, I shared that I had lost my sunglasses and was looking to replace them. She proceeded to recommend a pair that had nosepieces, stating that because of my low-bridge and cheeks, I would need that type of eyewear.

I informed her that I don’t like nosepieces and prefer the ones without. She restated that I would need nosepieces because of the way my face is, in what I can only call “a regrettable tone” – implying that my low-bridge and cheeks were a problem. At that point, I wasn’t sure if she was racist or just an idiot, so I quickly made clear with my body language that I didn’t need her help anymore. She spoke to no one in particular and said, “I’m very familiar with the products” and I said, “I’m very familiar with my face.”

That was not my proudest moment, but I felt ignored, devalued and discriminated against. I don’t want to get into a conversation about privilege or race, but in that brief moment, I felt as if my Asian features were, again, not meeting Western ideals.

As well, a few weeks back I had been at [Brand Name Store] looking for the same sunglasses and I stood in that same department for 20m looking for a salesperson. Admittedly, I went into [Brand Name Store] with an already low expectation that day.

I left the section and proceeded to leave the store. I saw a very friendly salesperson at one of the fragrance counters and impulsively asked if I could speak with the store manager. The fine woman spent a good 10m looking for a store manager. I decided to make my exit at that point as I still had sunglasses to buy, then noticed the concierge and asked her if I could speak with the store manager. Fortunately, she was successful, and I spoke with [store manager] – who was patient, listened and very open to the feedback.

One thing I think is also relevant, I used to live in [Western-city] and visited the [Brand Name Store] many times and never once experienced this lack of quality customer service as a shopper.

Not that this makes a huge dent in your sales revenue, but after I left your store, I went to the [competitor store]  and purchased sunglasses within 10m of walking into their store and after a warm welcome by their staff. They were helpful, supportive and made me feel valued as a customer. I felt good about spending my money there. I’m not in a position to say the same thing about [Brand Name Store].

Even though I communicated my experience to [store manager], I still felt compelled to formally share it via this channel – not only to address the discrimination, but to also highlight the three other employees who were more in keeping with what I expect of a [Brand Name Store] customer experience.  More of them, less of the ignorant sunglasses salesperson.

It was a bright and crisp winter morning. I was standing on the street outside of a building, gathering my thoughts before I would enter and begin my next meeting. I was wearing a floral print dress, a black blazer, beige heels and a parka – because, it’s still winter. I was holding a carryout cup of tea, my purse and laptop bag.

YOU SLUT. DO YOU WANT TO GET RAPED? From across the street, a man with mental health challenges stared me down and yelled furiously at me as he walked with purpose down the sidewalk.

The old me would have immediately averted my gaze, feel shame for drawing such attention and kick myself for putting myself in such a position.  The old me would have heard the voices of the women before me that said, be small.

BE STILL I stood my ground and stared back without emotion. My gaze did not waver, my footing stable. I remained motionless to defy the all-too-familiar feeling of fear.

I took stock of my surroundings.

Daylight.
We are in a public place.
My cell phone is in my pocket.

I’m safe.

AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT I began my meeting as if the verbal assault by a complete stranger never took place. I was pleasant and gracious as we went through the meeting agenda, while inside, I felt a little broken.

Pushing through is a skill, honed over many years and many similar situations, that compartmentalizes the shock and emotions that arise from being denigrated and diminished in public. It is a skill to carry on and focus on everything else when all you want to do is cry and process what brought you to that moment and question why this even happens.

VOX I had not told anyone what happened. It was only this morning’s light that reminded me of the situation. I wonder how many forgotten stories of assault, aggression and attacks are out there, brushed aside because we women have better things to do than to address each grievance and disrespect. This is not the first time. This will not be the last time.

I’m sharing this recent experience because I want to add to the conversation and lend a data point to show that women are constantly under surveillance and assault. This is real.

Sign up here: https://tinyletter.com/PRIVODEET

To celebrate International Women’s Day 2019, Google released its “SEARCH ON: black girl magic” ad. Well-intentioned with a strong message of black fempowerment, the video failed to feature CaShawn Thompson – the woman who actually started the movement.

WATCH the Google video here.
READ the original article from designTAXI here.

SOURCE THE SOURCE Google is a smart company, so I’m willing to wager that the majority of employees have completed some sort of essay that required a firm knowledge of how and why one must properly note primary and secondary resources. Chicago Manual of Style? MLA? Anyone, anyone?

Even a complicated mathematical solution requires proper citations. Are you telling me that Google, ground zero for search, where the brand’s name has become a synonym for search, didn’t search the featured query at google.com? Unlikely.

Spoiler Alert, if you type in “black girl magic” into the Google search box, you’ll clearly see CaShawn Thompson’s name as Founder.

I experienced a rude awakening about a dear friend I had known since I was a young child.

She was…is…a racist. Dropping the r-word is painful and seeing it in black and white in reference to her is a shock. I’m not over dramatising the situation.

Make someone feel “otherness”. CHECK
Use a derogatory term. CHECK
Stereotype on the basis of colour. CHECK

Three data points. It’s a trend. To clarify, she is a white woman.

STAY WOKE This new context of her forced a complete reconsideration of me and my place in her world. It was in her world that returning my hair to its natural black-brown colour from a muted pink was such an umbrage because she “wouldn’t be able to tell me apart from the other Asians.” It was in her world that I needed to “stop sounding like an immigrant” when I said close the light vs. turn off the light. It was in her world that I tried so desperately to fit in.

WHITE FRAGILITY It was a girls’ weekend. She said the above infractions and more. I shortened my participation. Our other two friends, who bore witness to some of her transgressions, tried to walk her through the motivations of my departure. One told her of the emotional labour a person of colour undertakes when trying to explain racism to a white person.

She didn’t get it.

She wrote me two emails with the first attempting to explain/justify why she said the things she said and behaved the way she did. The second was some sort of closure statement as I hadn’t responded to the first email.

I still haven’t properly read the emails.  I’ve skimmed, but I’ve shared with a few close friends to analyze and present their findings. I can’t bring myself to read and actually comprehend the words on the page because her apology for calling a bar with a predominately African-American crowd as “ghetto” included this choice quote: 

I wanted to clarify that it didn’t even occur to me that the comment might be construed as racially profiling or racist. I hope you know (and I think you do) that I was only referring to the “rough” folks there regardless of their skin colour etc. 

Did I mention that she also assumed that a woman was carrying a fake Chanel purse, “because judging by this crowd, it has to be fake.” We were in Bushwick – #TRUSTFUND

KEEP YA HEAD UP I still haven’t processed this new understanding of her and I don’t feel I have the tools to do so. But, I’ve been reading, podcasting and YouTube’ing to absorb the language and the frameworks to navigate this complicated world of race relations.

CALLING OUT AND CALLING IN Playing with this new language has made PRIVODEET an output. Another has been me contacting brands who display racist or xenophobic behaviours to bring them into the discussion.

I called a yoga studio and asked them to revisit the use of the term “ghetto” in their Hip Hop Yoga class description. I’ve emailed a couple retailers who provided a significantly different service experience to me than those that lack that melanin. So far, all have recognized the oversight and took steps to address/rectify the situation.

I’m also commending companies that ensure all guests in their brand universe are treated equally and with respect.

FINAL THOUGHTS Will the ghosting continue? I’m not sure. There hasn’t been a paths-crossing point just yet, but I do hope that if and when that happens, there’s room to have an honest conversation.

——

BONUS A few books that have helped me on my journey:

White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

Becoming by Michelle Obama

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

THE ANSWER: R-A-C-I-S-T.

ICYMI

• The Dolce & Gabbana “Eating with Chopsticks” Video Series.
• Check out @diet_prada (feed, stories and highlights) for how everything unfolded, including the DMs and an English translation of the Cannoli episode.
• Stefano and Domenico say “Sorry”.  

 TIP OF MY TONGUE In a world where emojis reign supreme, I’ve been struggling to articulate why this is so hurtful. (Mind Blown emoji, thank u, next!)
Luxury brands are an aspiration. They define beauty and glamour. They define the ideal. They define what has power.

I am not the aspiration. I will never see my genetics reflected in a dishwasher ad, let alone ads for luxury goods. Despite the lack of representation, Asians, primarily the Chinese, still drive high-end fashion sales.

CHINESE IGNORANT DIRTY SMELLING MAFIA The co-founder does not respect Asians. Full. Stop. The videos, the DMs, the apology –  they all lay evidence to his racist ways and the stereotypes he perpetuates to demean us. Asians could buy out the entire collection for the next 50 years and Dolce & Gabanna will still think we are less than.

#GRABYOURWALLETS It seemed timely that the Dolce & Gabbana debacle would dovetail with this weekend of consumer excess. Your Dollar, Your Voice and Your Time have the power to support brands and businesses that align with your values.

 Here are some brands from my own closet that create #ValueOnValues.

• Fempowerment at For All Womankind.
• GUPF at Naresha Willis.
• Ethical and Transparent at Everlane.
• Integrity and Kindness at Cuyana.
• A Better World at Causebox.

Burning up significant water cooler time has been the New York Review of Books article, “Reflections from a Hashtag”. There’s been much discussion – public and private – with serious criticism lobbed against the author and the editor.

Select articles on the matter:

• Want to see the article fact-checked by the Toronto Star journalist who broke the original story?  Click here.
• Want to read The Atlantic article that discusses how the editor, by publishing the article and defending himself, revealed how out of touch he was with the current cultural climate? Click here.
• Want to read the Slate interview with the editor? Click here. It’s a doozy.
• Want to read the Vrij Nederland interview with the editor? Click here. The editor confirm he was not fired.

 So. Many. Issues. The situation resurfaced dialogue on the author’s acquittal and the associated footnotes. Some noted that the article was poorly written and didn’t uphold the standards expected of the NYRB. The trigger for me was how, once again, the narrative of our universe was curated in the vein of history is written by the victors.

 #WhyIDidntReport New perspectives and new voices seemed to have been the editor’s objective in the upcoming thematic “The Fall of Men”, but it actually fell quite short by giving a platform to someone of questionable nature with an underlying motive to redeem himself. To me, it felt the author was presenting his multi-page resume to a US immigration officer in hopes of an O-visa, basically saying, “I’m so extraordinarily accomplished that I simply can’t be the bad guy.”  Wolf in sheep’s clothing with the fresh take still missing.

 When it comes to a 360° narrative, victims underreport. It’s part of the complexity of human psychosis. It plays into what is considered “truth” and shapes the paradigm we view the world. We now know the author’s history, but what of the victims?

 It’s not clear what brought editor to author, but in a parallel universe, I envision the editor also reaching out to an alleged victim and this new Author 2 finding the courage within to bring a new voice to the table. I won’t go so far as saying Author 1 shouldn’t have been published, but I think the lack of context on the contents of the article made him an unreliable “subject matter expert”.

From Tone Deaf to Pitch Perfect So, what now? The print edition will be out soon and likely fly off the shelves. The NYRB will allocate more pages for “Letters to the Editor” in the next edition. The majority can continue blindly clicking through to the next hullabaloo playing out in public view.

For me, my homework is to listen to new voices and perspectives. If you’re interested, see the link to my new subscribe below, plus other podcasts I’m into.

 LEFT, RIGHT AND CENTER: Because I gotta start somewhere.

—

2 DOPE QUEENS: Started listening to this because of a friend. She knows who she is. PRO-TIP: She listens to podcasts while grocery shopping. Genius.

 CANADALAND: It’s funny and independent.

 THE DAVE CHANG SHOW: Chef Christina Tosi was on this week! Who EVER, ever, EVER has a female chef as a guest?

REVISIONIST HISTORY: Sometimes I feel like I’ve outgrown Gladwell’s ability to mainstream, but I do enjoy this fresh take on old news.

***YouTube bonus*** THE LAW TWINZ: I can’t get enough of their music video reactions. My first foray into their world was Childish Gambino’s “This is America”. Watched it again just now and 2m08s still gets me shook.

Hello,

Come in. Sit down. Grab some tea, because it’s all about to spill.

Welcome to the world of PRIVODEET.

If you’re familliar with “A Clockwork Orange”, you might recall the Nadsat language used by Alex and his three Droogs. PRIVODEET is taken from their vernacular and defined as “to lead somewhere”.

For almost ten years, PRIVODEET served as my treehouse on the Internet. At times, it operated as a bookmusicfilm review site[1], at others, a place to vent on human behaviour. In other iterations, it housed my poetry and my seemingly never-ending struggle to lose 10 lbs.  Throughout its evolution, PRIVODEET was always meant to track my growth as a person.

I kept PRIVODEET hidden. Judgment on my writing scared me. Positioning myself on an issue without weeks of research[2] scared me. Seeing my yet-to-be-fully-formed thoughts hanged, drawn and quartered in the public square scared the f*ck out of me.

What has usurped those superficial fears is this new fear that my silence on important issues means I’ve now sided with the oppressor.[3]  My hope for PRIVODEET is to cover a range of hot topics, but with a PRIVODEET slant. What that slant is, we’ll discover together, but I hope it is one that leads to not only a discussion, but also action.

I welcome constructive commentary and not so constructive commentary because it is in the in-between that will lead me to a better somewhere than where I am now.

—
CHICK LIT
Recently, I was packing for a move. During an unfortunate incident involving me, a shelf and a row of paperback books tumbling to the ground, I discovered an equally unfortunate truth about me.

I don’t read women writers.

My teenage years were filled with Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and Hunter S. Thompson. That was the canon that gave you a ticket into the subversive. It was philosophy, gonzo journalism and threatened the establishment. It was different and I loved it.

I scoured the titles on the other bookshelves to prove my penchant for XY writers was a result of a poor sample selection. I saw a Zadie Smith here and a Virginia Woolf there, my beloved Sylvia Plath was dog-eared but the majority of authors were men. As I packed the Matthews, the Marks, the Lukes and the Johns, my gender imbalanced reading history became more and more obvious.

It took a long time for women to be recognized and respected as writers, prompting a major delay in entering the literary industry. From publishing houses to editors to retailers, men ruled the roost leading to sexual discrimination on the shelves. But, I also blame myself for not seeking out and supporting women writers – did I fall into the trap of thinking women writers were less than? Did I place a premium on the voice of Kerouac because he is a man and inherently carries more authority in society?

I worked in the whisk(e)y industry for years and one thing that constantly niggled at me was that women whisk(e)y drinkers never wanted to be directly marketed to.  Build it pink and they will NOT come.  From qualitative marketing research and random conversations from women at whisk(e)y events, what made the spirit so compelling was that it was generally perceived as a man’s drink and it was an unexpected choice from the usual white wine spritzer.

Returning to my reading list, I can see some of that behaviour coming through. Good Girls don’t read Ginsberg and that’s what made it so attractive.

With 6 weeks of this glorious Summer 2018 to go, I decided to dial up the oestrogen and add three books by women writers to my summer reading list. I’ve shared them below, with little blurbs from one of my favourite bookstores, City Lights:

LOBA – Diane Di Prima. Loba is a visionary epic quest for the reintegration of the feminine, hailed by many when it first appeared in 1978 as the great female counterpart to Allen Ginsberg’s Howl. Now published for the first time in its expanded and revised form, Loba explores the wilderness at the heart of experience through the archetype of the wolf goddess.

BAD FEMINIST – Roxane Gay. In these funny and insightful essays, Roxane Gay takes us through the journey of her evolution as a woman (Sweet Valley High) of color (The Help) while also taking readers on a ride through culture of the last few years (Girls, Django in Chains) and commenting on the state of feminism today (abortion, C—- B—-). The portrait that emerges is not only one of an incredibly insightful woman continually growing to understand herself and our society, but also one of our culture.

THE HANDMAID’S TALE – Margaret Atwood. Funny, unexpected, horrifying, and altogether convincing, The Handmaid’s Tale is at once scathing satire, dire warning, and tour de force.

Please let me know your favourite women writers by either replying to this newsletter or emailing PRIVODEET AT GMAIL DOT COM!

Yours,
PRIVODEET

Click here to subscribe to “Shaking Up The Old Boys’ Club” by PRIVODEET.